Fresh start

Today, I got the keys to my new home.

For the past few weeks, since signing a lease for a new home, I’ve felt so much anticipation. I’d been daydreaming about decorating, organizing, and making the space feel like ours. Compared to where we’ve been, this is an upgrade, a true step forward. I felt a kid like waiting for Christmas morning.

But when I walked through the front door of the new place, something unexpected happened.

A wave of emotion hit me like a sudden downpour. It reminded me of grief, the kind that doesn’t fully sink in until well after an irreversible change. Like when you go to call someone who’s passed away and remember, in that moment, that they’re gone for good.

That’s what getting the keys felt like.

Not because I hadn’t accepted the end of my marriage; I have. I’ve known for a while now that it was beyond repair. But this new home… this space that’s big, bright, and beautiful… it made that truth more real. More permanent. There’s enough room here for everyone to have their own space. It feels like the kind of place we could be for years.

And suddenly, I wasn’t just stepping into a new house, I was closing the door on an old chapter. For good.

When I first left the family home, I moved into a small two-bedroom apartment. I picked it intentionally. It was tight, manageable, temporary. Just a “break” from the chaos. But that apartment became the bridge between who I was and who I’m becoming. In many ways, it cocooned me and my boys. The closeness of that small space forced us into deeper connection. We were always near each other, cuddling, talking, grounding ourselves in the love we share. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.

But this new space? It’s a fresh start.

Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, even creatively.

In my marriage, decorating was an exhausting battle of compromise. My ideas were rarely accepted and often criticized. I lost my voice in subtle ways; blank walls in a beautiful home that mirrored my silenced spirit.

Now, I walk through this home and choose what I like. I hang up things that make me feel something. I pick colors that reflect my energy. And for the first time in a long time, I don’t have to defend my choices. That kind of freedom is healing.

This fresh start also represents something deeper: my decision to live more intentionally.

To stop going through the motions. To stop taking life as it comes without questioning what I need and deserve. I want this new space to be a reflection of what I’ve learned and who I’m becoming: a woman who values herself, her peace, and the energy she brings into her environment.

My boys already love it here. But the most affirming moment was realizing something about them, and about me: Home isn’t just a place to them. Home is wherever I am.

That tells me I’m doing something right.

So yes, I’m scared. This feels big. Permanent. Different.

Ready or not, fresh start—here I come.

Journal prompts

What is no longer serving me that I need to leave behind?
Explore habits, relationships, environments, or mindsets that feel misaligned.

What has brought me to this point of needing or choosing a fresh start?
Reflect on the build-up—what’s been missing, what’s felt heavy, or what your intuition has been whispering.

What do I want this fresh start to feel like—not just look like?
Move beyond the surface and consider the emotional tone, daily rhythm, and energy of your new beginning.

What lessons from the past do I want to carry with me—and which ones am I ready to release?
Identify what growth to honor, and what burdens to let go.

How can I be more intentional with this new chapter—emotionally, physically, spiritually, or relationally?
Define small ways you can show up with purpose in this next season of your life.

What does success look like to me in this new beginning?
Let go of outside expectations—focus on what would feel fulfilling to you.

Who am I becoming through this fresh start?
Visualize the version of yourself you’re stepping into, and how she thinks, acts, and protects her peace.