EMDR Session 4: Rewriting Beliefs
In my latest EMDR session, something shifted for me in an emotional breakthrough kind of way.
This time, we revisited that same impactful memory from my childhood. Last time, the emotions tied to that memory were intense with a heavy mixture of fear, grief, and a sense of powerlessness that felt overwhelming.
This time felt much different. When we brought the memory back up and processed it again, the emotional disturbance that I typically experience wasn’t there anymore. What had felt like a flood of emotion was more like looking at a picture and it wasn’t overtaking my nervous system. It was unexpected progress.
The most meaningful shift from the session wasn’t just about my feelings related to that memory. Instead, it was about a belief I realized I had been carrying for most of my life.
The Belief I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying
As part of the session, my therapist asked me to look through a handout called a Cognitions List. It includes common negative beliefs that can develop after traumatic experiences, along with healthier beliefs that therapy intends to help install.
Something immediately jumped out at me when I read over the list. Under the category of Defectiveness and Shame were statements like:
“I am permanently damaged.”
“I am not good enough.”
“I am ashamed of myself.”
These statements resonated with me. They were things that, at some point or another, I’d thought quietly, only to myself and have stayed with me over time.
I admitted to myself that I’d been carrying one tragic belief that I didn’t fully recognize until that moment.
That belief was this: I am broken.
Broken in a way that could never fully be repaired. Although it wasn’t something I spoke out loud, it was there living quietly underneath my fears, my relationships, and the way I navigated challenges. As I encountered more trauma and difficult experiences over the years, it reinforced a quiet assumption I had settled into: Those early wounds changed me permanently, and no matter how much growth or success I experienced, there would always be an undercurrent beneath my life shaped by those moments.
The Powerlessness Beneath the Surface
In EMDR, traumatic memories are often connected to a core negative belief about yourself. The one connected to this memory for me was simple: “I am powerless.”
After the session I made the connection that believing you are broken is another form of powerlessness. Because if something is permanently broken, there’s nothing you can do about it. And that belief quietly shapes how you move through the world.
Finding the Belief That Felt True
Part of the EMDR process is identifying a positive belief that can replace the old one once the memory has been processed. We’d started with: “I am powerful.”
But it’s going to take me a while to get there. Truthfully, I don’t fully believe it… yet.
During the session another phrase emerged: “I can heal.”
The moment I said it, something inside me settled. That phrase both embraces my history AND what’s possible for my future. And for someone who quietly believed she might be permanently broken, that shift was necessary, especially at this point in my healing journey.
Navigating this session
In addition to taking time reprocessing the negative memory and installing the positive ‘I can heal’ belief during this session, we also worked through ‘future templates’. This part focused on imagining how I might respond to situations in the future that could trigger those old emotions. Things like hearing someone share their own traumatic experience or encountering reminders of my past. The goal wasn’t to pretend those moments wouldn’t be hard. It was to imagine navigating them with regulation instead of overwhelm. We took time to practice how I might handle those situations so I could be prepared.
It’s a good sign when something comes along in therapy that aligns with something I’ve been trying to practice in other parts of my life. Lately I’ve been laser focusing on what is within my control and letting go of what is not.
Healing Is Bigger Than the Trauma
While EMDR is helping me process specific memories from the past, I can already see how the work extends far beyond those moments. Because the beliefs we carry don’t just shape how we remember the past, they shape how we move through the present.
If you believe you are broken, you move through the world differently. But if you believe you can heal, something shifts. There is more room for compassion. More room for patience with yourself. More room for growth.
