When Gratitude Feels Hard
We’re officially in the season of gratitude. The time when everyone starts sharing highlight reels, blessings, and year-end thankfulness. But here’s the truth I’m sitting with:
I don’t feel grateful right now. Not naturally. Not easily. Not without effort.
2025 has been challenging. Divorce. Co-parenting transitions. Reorgs at work. All of it wrapped together into one heavy dose of anxiety and depression. When I look back over the last eleven months, I don’t immediately see the blessings, I see the bruises.
And yet, I’m learning that gratitude isn’t the only worthwhile practice this time of year. Reflection is just as valuable, maybe even more.
Why Reflection Matters More Than the Pressure to Be Grateful
As we move through life, it’s easy to rush past what we’re experiencing turmoil, heartbreak, unexpected change, even joyful moments without pausing to understand their impact.
This year, I’m less focused on forcing myself to be grateful and more committed to asking deeper questions:
What have I truly gone through?
How has it shaped or reshaped me?
What perspectives have shifted?
How can I approach things differently moving forward?
Where should my time and energy go from here?
Reflection gives meaning to the chaos. It helps me see not just what happened, but who I’m becoming because of it.
Still Somewhere in the Middle
I’m still very much in the middle of a healing journey. Not at the start. Not at the end. Just in the messy, stretching middle. Some days I show up fully. Some days I collapse emotionally. Some days I parent with patience. Some days I run out of grace.
And through it all, I’m learning that healing isn’t linear and it isn’t a race. There’s no magical finish line. There’s only becoming more grounded, more self-aware, more aligned with the life I’m rebuilding.
What This Year Taught Me
Despite everything, this year has taught me so much. The biggest lesson? Life is not always rainbows and sunshine—and that’s okay.
It’s a mix of good and bad and everything in between. The hard moments sharpen my appreciation for the good ones. They also highlight the beauty of support from the people in my personal village, who have shown up for me consistently and compassionately.
This year has also shown me my own strength and resilience; but just as important, it’s taught me the value of allowing myself to be fragile, soft, and vulnerable. Both truths can coexist.
The Unexpected Transformation
2025 changed me in ways I didn’t anticipate. It was a rough year, no question. But it also reshaped me for the better. It clarified what matters, it shifted my priorities, and it cracked me open in ways that have allowed new growth to take root.
And for that, yes—I am grateful.
AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE END OF THE YEAR
Use these to ground yourself as the year closes:
I honor what I’ve survived this year.
I am becoming stronger, gentler, and more intentional every day.
I release the pressure to feel grateful and embrace honest reflection instead.
I am worthy of healing, joy, and peace.
I trust myself to grow through what challenged me.
I welcome the version of me that is rising from this year’s lessons.
JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR REFLECTION & HEALING
Reflecting on the Year
What moment from this year changed me the most?
Where did I grow? Where did I struggle?
What emotions did I avoid that now need my attention?
Lessons & Patterns
What patterns or habits no longer serve me?
What new boundaries did I create or need to create?
What did I learn about my own resilience?
Looking Ahead
What do I want to let go of before the new year begins?
What do I want to carry forward?
What version of myself am I becoming?
