Mommin’ Ain’t Easy
It’s that time of year again. School has begun, fall activities are kicking off, and the season is shifting from summer to autumn. In “mom language,” that means busier days, fuller schedules, and a whole new level of juggling. For me, that means managing three kids, in three different age groups, all while navigating single motherhood.
Being a “good mom” matters deeply to me. I’m learning that being a good mom doesn’t look the same for each of my boys. Their personalities, needs, and stages of life are incredibly different, and part of my journey has been slowing down, observing them closely, and learning how to meet them where they are. Interestingly, as I’ve taken time to know myself more deeply, I’ve also grown in awareness as their mom and we’re all reaping the benefits.
Take my oldest, for example. Before school started, he had a major attitude about going back. At back-to-school night, he was cranky and kind of rude. My first instinct was to react, but I paused instead. A few days later, it became clear: his attitude wasn’t defiance, it was nerves. He doesn’t view school as I did. For me, school was an escape from an uncomfortable home. For him, home is comfortable; school feels uncertain. That realization shifted how I supported him. Instead of lecturing, I encouraged him to join clubs to expand his network and strengthen his social-emotional skills. Sure, that means more pickups and drop-offs for me, but it’s worth it to help him find his own way.
My youngest, meanwhile, has entered full “three-nager” mode. What I first thought was related to transitioning between parents lasted much longer. Extra “no’s,” tears, clinginess, and meltdowns. Add in the classroom transition from the two-year-old room to the three-year-old room, and his emotions were high. It’s not easy to navigate. Some mornings I don’t have time for drawn-out and emotional drop-offs. But then I remind myself—he is my first priority. Work can wait, and a late arrival isn’t the end of the world. So, I carry him when he needs it, help him breathe through his frustration, and slow down to play a ‘transition’ game at daycare until he’s comfortable for me to leave. Giving him control in those moments helps him feel secure in a world that feels big and overwhelming.
My middle child is navigating his own new world: kindergarten. His first day home, he asked me in disbelief, “They don’t do naps in kindergarten?” When I told him no, he groaned, “That’s a loooooong day!” Most afternoons, he falls asleep in the car before we even reach home. On top of that, he just started flag football and revived his summer lemonade stand. It’s a lot for a little guy, but I’m in awe of his grit. He’s become so expressive and thoughtful; easier to reason with, easier to support. When he felt overlooked during his first football game, I encouraged him to respectfully speak to his coach, and he did. When he wanted to relaunch his lemonade stand, I showed him how to reinvest his earnings and brainstormed fall-themed treats like apple cider and pumpkin spice cake. Watching his resilience and independence grow has been one of my favorite gifts this season.
Meanwhile, life hasn’t slowed down for me. Motherhood has a way of swallowing you whole. I’ve realized this journey comes with ebbs and flows; times when the kids need almost all of me, and times when I can find balance easily. The truth is, I can’t afford to lose myself in motherhood. To be a good mom to them, I have to prioritize myself, too.
That old saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, isn’t always accurate. Moms pour even when we’re empty. We find a way because our children need us. But I also know I can’t live stretched thin forever. When I feel overwhelmed, I’ve learned to mother with more intention.
Here are three things working for us right now:
Routines. They bring stability and flow.
I lay out clothes every night.
Bedtime is consistent, with a timer the boys set themselves so they feel in control.
At bedtime, we share what we’re grateful for and read together.
Breakfast is simple, with a short menu of grab-and-go favorites.
Letting go of perfection. Some mornings run late, some dinners are quick meals, and sometimes co-sleeping means I don’t get great rest. But I remind myself—this season is temporary.
Small intentional shifts. Whether it’s pre-planning dinners or carving out morning time for journaling, I’m finding ways to nurture myself, too.
I don’t have all the answers. Some days I feel like I’m sprinting on fumes. But I also know this: being present, being intentional, and giving myself grace is enough. And that’s what makes me a “good mom.”
Affirmations
I am the mom my children need, exactly as I am.
I honor each of my children’s unique journeys while honoring my own.
I give myself permission to mother with intention, not perfection.
I am resilient, capable, and growing alongside my children.
Balance and grace flow into my home when I lead with love.
Journal Prompts
What does being a “good mom” look like for me right now, and how has that evolved over time?
In what ways are my children showing me who they are becoming, and how can I better support them?
Where am I pouring from an “empty cup,” and what small changes can help me refill it?
Which daily routines bring me peace—and which ones do I want to strengthen or simplify?
What lessons am I learning about myself through motherhood this season?
